2 hours ago with 37,370 notes


honestly my dad is such a freak he never says goodnight like a normal person he just says “i’ll be back” and he goes upstairs and when you ask where he is or go looking for him hes asleep and the next morning when you see him he just says “good morning im back’ like what is wrong with him

2 hours ago with 299,213 notes


sorry i can’t go to your party next month i have a headache

2 hours ago with 252 notes



2 hours ago with 124,813 notes


"This isn’t your typical love story…" opens the trailer for a movie about a white, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied, middle class, and likely loosely Christian couple who find each other through serendipity and a very small amount of actual work.

2 hours ago with 27,113 notes

Real Hacker vs Movie Hacker

real hacker: So you say you're gonna break into our local nuclear power plant? I really don't think that's possible
movie hacker: *types a few keystrokes* I'm in
real hacker: But the power plant's computers aren't even connected to the internet
movie hacker: I said I'm in. Now I'll cause a meltdown *types a few keystrokes* Done
real hacker: What do you mean done? There have to be many redundant safeguards in place to stop a meltdown. In any case, a meltdown would take time.
movie hacker: Want me to break into the CIA next?
real hacker: I don't even think you should attempt to...
movie hacker: *types a few keystrokes* Too late. I'm in
2 hours ago with 291,365 notes


The next supreme

2 hours ago with 54,593 notes
2 hours ago with 170 notes


when you meet someone with the same kinks as you


2 hours ago with 22,530 notes


is it weird i’m mad that 10 year olds are going to see monsters university and when finding dory comes out they will go see that too like you are not allowed that is our childhood not yours stop it!!!

2 hours ago with 30,794 notes
#biiiiiiitch plz
2 hours ago with 337,552 notes
#how I passed my regents


This sums up my life pretty well

2 hours ago with 16,647 notes


the area of exposed skin between a crop top and a pair of high waisted shorts is sacred and magical

2 hours ago with 153,070 notes


Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something

2 hours ago with 267,178 notes
2 hours ago with 957 notes