hot take: moms need to learn how to listen to and comfort their daughters without making everything about their own traumas
a classic example
daughter: hey this thing you do bothers me very much and i wish you wouldn’t do it
mom: well my parents abused me and im not even as bad as they were and i had to sit through it so you gotta sit through whatever i do to you too
a common variant
mom: well i’m having a really hard time right now and you know that i’m doing my best and that i didn’t mean to hurt you ergo you are in fact the asshole for asking me to consider your feelings and change my behavior during this hard hard time i’m having
least favorite
mom: fine. you’re right and i’m wrong and i’m a horrible person. there. are you happy now?
see also
mom: you can’t be mad at me. you’re not allowed to be mad at me. i can’t stand it.
daughter: There’s this thing that bothers me about school/life
mom: well I’m so sorry that I’m a terrible mother and that I can’t fix every problem
yall with adhd or autism or such ever just get…. bored. like so Painfully bored. like its not “oh hehe i was so bored and i made this” to flex or “oh im so bored bc i have nothing to do” but like a “i am physically incapable of ending this horrible understimulation with any activity i might attempt” and its genuinely fucking painful
